Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
