Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
