I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
