i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
