Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
