Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
