I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize