hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
