Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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