Just fell off a train. Bad.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
