Do you still have your period?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
