He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I didn't notice because vodka
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
