chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
