so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
