I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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