Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
