Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
