Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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