You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
