I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
People in love make me want to vomit
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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