if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
