Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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