I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
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All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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