mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize