you guys were way drunker than both of me
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
