we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize