so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
