I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
