Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.