i just had sex bonerless
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
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my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
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After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.