1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her