Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We need a shit load of segways right now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.