I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.