Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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