i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
