I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
