lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And then he peed in my hair
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