idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
