I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
