You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
