i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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