I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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