you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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