Kareoke will never be a sober sport
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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