So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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