**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
