do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
COCAINE IS GR8
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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