need another drink. this is the easiest way
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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