I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
