somebody snuck up and got me drunk
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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