i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
