shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
