you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
this just has baby written all over it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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