I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
