I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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