it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
