So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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