It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This baby is an asshole
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
