So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
