Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
