Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
