I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
