Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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