Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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