I feel like I'm in dance class right now
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
