I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
