It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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