I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
