Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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