just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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