kristin has been a bad kristin
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
